i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
