don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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