I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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