But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Randomize
