Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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