$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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