my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
