can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
