make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
