I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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