Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
