I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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