May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
