Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize