I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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