your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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