Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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