Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
