i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
