Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
