I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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