no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
