I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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