Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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