So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
zippers are such a cool invention
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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