So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize