Plan B is the new Plan A
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
