i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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