as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
