you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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