tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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