There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
