What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
you will always have a special place in my vag
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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