oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
