Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
