I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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