no you cant smoke seaweed
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I touched a dick in church today
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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