I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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