you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Randomize
