I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
