I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
