Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Two words: blizzard sex
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