we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Swine flu is the new snow day.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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