and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
