If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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