but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
