he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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