haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
