My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
