the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
how do flat chested girls get laid?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize