she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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