I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
no. you can't hotbox the world.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
