I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
