Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Terrible idea I love it
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
