Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
