Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
it glows. i had to have it.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
