Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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