I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
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