Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
