she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
