My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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