I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
