Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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