she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
