google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize