so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
